On the subject of PRESIDENTS and their DAYS

Posted: February 21, 2012 in Uncategorized
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Despite today today’s being Presidents Day, the bank was open so I took the opportunity to ask each customer whom I helped who their favorite president is. Some thought that it was an amusing question and laughed openly upon being asked. I can support this response to a point. Most people go about their business thinking little of things presidential on a daily basis – let alone regularly combing the depths of presidential lore to identify defining policy planks so thoroughly as to be able to definitely pick a favorite. My goal then, therefore, was not so much to find out who the most popular president is but rather to see who had given the subject the most thought prior to my asking the question. The results are posted at the end. Please don’t skip ahead.

The first customer of the day was thoughtful for a moment and then quickly identified Theodore Roosevelt as his favorite. “Aha!” I thought. “We are trending on something wonderful here.” I hardly need to elaborate on my loyalty to this most scholarly and gentlemanly of presidents. It didn’t hurt that the customer sported a large and elaborate mustache.

I then took the next few minutes to quiz the staff. Abraham Lincoln and George Washington were quickly identified. These are classic choices, and I do not fault anyone for making them. Washington was, as anyone who has seen HBO’s John Adams will attest, was incredibly brave to accept the presidency of a new, experimental nation such as ours will no reasonable expectations of whether it should succeed or whether he should receive a traitor’s death. Lincoln preserved the union in the face of excessive opposition from all sides and even freed some slaves while he was at it. Not bad.

One of the bankers immediately claimed the first of many Reagan votes. And like every other person who picked Reagan, no real reason was given. These people rarely have them. Some equate the man’s belief that the End Times were upon us as a civilization and his willingness to play nuclear chicken with this understanding with leadership and tenacity.

One of the early picks was William McKinley. When pressed for a reason, he quickly said, “That’s personal!” Very funny. After some discussion, we decided that his was indeed a valuable administration in that by dying he permitted Roosevelt to attain the office much earlier in his career than he otherwise might have. Very valuable indeed.

Several votes went to Kennedy. One of them was hesitant to confirm her vote due to a recent Brian Williams interview with a former JFK sexual partner. This interview was considered damaging to Kennerdy’s reputation as a statesman. Yet another vote went to the man precisely because he was “such a pimp.” He takes all comers.

Heyo!

Clinton was the next new choice. One of the bankers made sure to clarify that we were voting for “favorite” and not necessarily “best.” Once this was confirmed he gleefully voiced his support for Clinton. Additional votes went to Clinton for the fond, limited memories of recent years past. I suspect that this is why Reagan received so many as well.

John Adams was selected because “he did not run a deficit” during his administration. If you haven’t watched the HBO miniseries, please do so immediately. I think that they’re running it tonight. Or go buy it. Or steal it (while promising to fly a flag during and afterwards.) You will find yourself a more devoted American having done it.

Next up was Eisenhower. He was admired by the voter for having been such a skilled general during the war and for his relationship with the term “the military industrial complex.” Without having researched this connection, I am not sure if this means that he was opposed to giving it control over policy or if he worked to contest this influence.

There were a few votes for George Herbert Walker Bush. If this is anything like my family, than these may have something to do with this being the last president before the Clintons took over.

Two of my favorite votes came towards the end of the day. The guy immediately went for Teddy Roosevelt. I was glad that it was a young guy and not another aged NRAy type. His lady ended up going for William Henry Harrison because he died from giving his inaugural address in the rain without a hat.

One of the most considered votes came from one of my coworkers. We’ve discussed presidents before, so her selection(s) did not come as a surprise. Indeed, she answered by giving the number for each individual rather than listing them by name. She said 1, 3, 16, 35, and 44. I playfully pushed her to narrow her selections down, but she could not. And I admire her choices. Washington for the reasons listed earlier – the father of the nation is a pretty smart inclusion in your presidential resume. I like Jefferson because of his devotion to the essential philosophical liberties of individuals. He has a very cosmopolitan approach which I have come to appreciate. I still need to watch the Ken Burns documentary. Lincoln for being so darn Lincolny.

Read Gore Vidal’s Lincoln. As soon as possible.

Kennedy appears on her list as well. I dig Kennedy because he represents to me the dawning realization that the United States has the opportunity if not the responsibility to guide the world toward a bright, new future. The war has been over for some time. Kennedy is a young man with young ideas. We have to move forward, he says. Very inspirational.

And then there’s Obama. He’s a fighter. I think that history will be far kinder to him once everyone has a chance to realize how much he’s accomplished while having the entire Republican party at his throat with every move, good or ill. Such unequivocal hatred has been very disturbing to me.

I had originally picked Theodore Roosevelt, for all of the obvious reasons. A man’s man, a scholar, internationally aware, hunter, athlete, devoted to family and the pursuit of decency and justice. He recognized the essential need to grow business but not at the expense of liberty and freedom. He was a man of good principles. This country could use more people like him in an era when standing by arbitrarily defined convictions is considered character. After seeing the previous list, I permitted myself to expand my support to include preferences 2 and 3 – Jefferson and Adams. HBO’s John Adams. Watch.

Here are the results from least to greatest:

  • Barack Obama – 1
  • William Henry Harrison – 1
  • Dwight D. Eisenhower – 1
  • William McKinley – 1
  • John Adams – 2
  • Thomas Jefferson – 2
  • George Herbert Walker Bush – 3
  • Theodore Roosevelt – 4
  • George Washington – 4
  • Bill Clinton – 5
  • John F. Kennedy – 6
  • Decline to provide a response – 6
  • Ronald Reagan – 7

and finally

  • Abraham Lincoln – 10

What I have trouble with is the large number of people who couldn’t come up with a favorite. How little attention do you pay to our history? And then you have the balls to vote for how we’ll spend my taxes? Shameful. One of the regulars can be forgiven, however. It was not for lack of consideration that he failed to come up with a president – he simply preferred Benjamin Franklin and opted not to be betray his favored elder statesman.

Happy Presidents Day!

Nobody Understands Paul Krugman or FEAR IN THE HEARTS OF

Posted: January 7, 2012 in Uncategorized
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Paul Krugman delivered yet another post decrying that lack of honest economic understanding in today’s political discussion, a neglect which – if one is to even briefly consider the extent of what he’s talking about – borders on criminality. Officials elected to manage national economic policy who themselves do not understand even the most basic tenets of macroeconomics exacerbate the worst form of hucksterism – where those responsible for swindling Americans out of their money do not even realize that they’re doing it. At least the evil genius has a lair he must maintain: some increase in employment is to be expected.

I’m just joking about that picture. But I hope that you are picking up what I am laying down. Here is Krugman’s article:

Deficit-worriers portray a future in which we’re impoverished by the need to pay back money we’ve been borrowing. They see America as being like a family that took out too large a mortgage, and will have a hard time making the monthly payments.

This is, however, a really bad analogy in at least two ways.

First, families have to pay back their debt. Governments don’t — all they need to do is ensure that debt grows more slowly than their tax base. The debt from World War II was never repaid; it just became increasingly irrelevant as the U.S. economy grew, and with it the income subject to taxation.

Second — and this is the point almost nobody seems to get — an over-borrowed family owes money to someone else; U.S. debt is, to a large extent, money we owe to ourselves.

This is why I was getting so burned up over the idiocy surrounding the raising of the debt ceiling. So long as monies are available to pay the investors their interest, everything will be fine. We don’t have to worry about any kind of run on the national debt because if China dumped all of their US treasuries two things could immediately happen. China could lose one of their largest clients and the US could turn right around and dump all of their foreign holdings. Which would, of course, be fatally stupid. No forward thinking institution could fathom initiating such lunacy.

Krugs:

It’s true that foreigners now hold large claims on the United States, including a fair amount of government debt. But every dollar’s worth of foreign claims on America is matched by 89 cents’ worth of U.S. claims on foreigners. And because foreigners tend to put their U.S. investments into safe, low-yield assets, America actually earns more from its assets abroad than it pays to foreign investors. If your image is of a nation that’s already deep in hock to the Chinese, you’ve been misinformed.

I will admit, I read this article two days ago and have since become less incensed. I had a head full of steam about the retarded things that Mitt Romney all of the Republican candidates say and do and will continue to say and do. I had all sorts of Nazi-cards to play. It’s been a long week at work, and I’m too tired to get that worked up again now that it’s over. I’ll have to hold onto it until the next outrageous thing happens that will drive me further away from voting straight-ticket Libertarian again and instead loudly voicing approval for Barack Obama’s candidacy because he at least appears to have a rudimentary understanding of how to spend your way out of a recession if only the opposition will retract their anti-tax talons for one compromise-infested second.

A balanced budget is not the elimination of debt. Rather, it simply allows that debits equal credits. Are you at least making as much as you’re spending? Good. Your budget is balanced. Need to buy that new car or that shiny enhanced infrastructure? You can take on debt to pay for it – this is what modern economics was invented to do. Please read the article. Paul Krugman is an Nobel Prize-winning economist and can explain everything much more eloquently than I. In fact, try to read each of his columns. He only puts out a few each week and it’s probably the single most valuable thing you can do to enhance your understanding of economics. This makes you better citizen and person in general.

I’ll just ask this question, and may I add this preface: If the problem is the size of the debt, let’s assume that we’ve eliminated it. What do we do next?

Syrianuhnah nuhNAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Posted: December 10, 2011 in Uncategorized
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Barbara Walters interviewed Syrian president Bashar al-Assad on December 8th concerning the slew of violence that we’ve all seen broadcast from that country for the last several months.

She makes several references to the crackdown and was clearly trying to get the president to admit that he had either lost control of his government, and thusly the legitimate right to authority, or that he was in full control of the forces and had therefore directly ordered the slaughter of civilians. Assad attempted to make a distinction between acts of official policy and isolated incidents of individual decisions to engage in violence. Many of his responses have been discredited because his answers didn’t sound convincing since he has a funny accent. How could he be telling the truth?

President al-Assad places the blame on internal dissidents intent on using this opportunity to get the people and the government to fight each other. This is the same story that Qaddafi tried to use, albeit unsuccessfully. Is it so hard to believe, though? Is it at least possible that there are people willing to stoke popular discontent and accuse the government of indecency in order to orchestrate a transfer of power to some sort of shadow organization? He also blames western media for distorting events in an attempt to paint the world as essentially good where people want to work hard and build and prosper but for the evil governments who are holding them rigidly in place.

I am willing to go along with the possibility that insidious elements may be at work within the Syrian revolutionary scene. If I had an agenda which required a weaker government and saw an opportunity to get the people to turn on them, I would likely take it – all price tags are written in Syrian blood. And I am almost positive that American media outlets are manipulating the news, although perhaps not to the extent that Assad suggests. If men in power, such as Assad, are guilty of killing their own citizens – as most of the networks and major papers appear to claim  - then governments such as ours, who only detain citizens indefinitely, are still the heroes, and everything that Reagan said to make us feel good is still true.

On that note, I have just designed the rudiments of my new D&D campaign. We’ll probably be using the Pathfinder rules, although I need to talk to someone who has actually run a game with them instead of just going off this. I would have to assume that it’s a ton of fun, and well balanced.

Hello, I must be going!

Posted: December 3, 2011 in Uncategorized
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I’ve been reluctant to give any sort of update on what’s been going on here in Phoenix for the last little bit. My reasons aren’t reprehensible, reprehensive. Not a bit reprehensible – it’s so defensible. I’ve been trying to keep it real on the tweeters, but it’s been kind of difficult for reasons which should soon become clear to you. Honestly, the most accurate account of my daily activity since I arrived is by checking Foursquare. It should show that I’ve been going to work, the grocery store, and the gas station. My word, I live such an exciting and lackadaisical lifestyle.

There was something of a delay in starting work. The exact reasons are unspecified, but I suspect that it was related to the extra days I took mailing my officially obtained fingerprints back to the responsible agency within the bank’s network. I dropped them off at a Fedex box after final pickup on a Friday night. I would assume that this triggered extra delays being added onto the time before I was cleared to handle tens of thousands of dollars with only reactionary oversight. I could be the inside man, after all. Precautions are necessary in environments such as these. Naturally, I received final notification of clearance six days after I arrived – this was a Tuesday. Orientation is only offered on Mondays, five days hence.

At this point Ryan and I essentially had a competition to see who could take the biggest lead against the rest of our friends in The Elder Scrolls V. This was a productive use of my time. I played a thief, and I went everywhere unseen: killing many.

I was finally able to start training two weeks ago. I wasn’t expecting it to be overly challenging, since this is less of a job than what I had before. It does pay more, which is nice. And it will have more opportunities to exercise my sales abilities. My hope is to get noticed by the necessary talentseekers so that I can get bumped up to personal banker before the end of next summer. My comic book budget will benefit from the extra income.

I think I like the people with whom I will be working. Everyone seems to have the required amount of personality quirks to make daily work at least somewhat interesting.

Training ended today. It was sad to see everyone part ways. I was expecting a more formal dismissal, but it didn’t happen. As such, everyone took off all at once and I was made to scramble for contact information. I realized yesterday that the largest percentage of my time in Phoenix has been spent training with them and that now I will likely never see them again. It’s not like I’m upset; I’ve never had difficulty befriending people in a new place. This event has simply made me take pause. I did manage some Facebook outreach and an Xbox Live gamertag on my way out the door.

I’m part of another blog besides this one now. It is called Activities With Friends. A group of our university chums have conspired to participate in a rotating, weekly activity and blog about their experiences with each one. It’s been a lot of fun so far, since everyone lives in different parts of the country/world these days. It’s nice to collaborate on stuff again.

This post probably lacks its usual lyrical flair. I’ll admit that I am exhausted. It’s been a long couple of weeks and I am glad that it is the weekend. Right now Ryan is playing the new Assassin’s Creed. He should be done soon at which point we’ll start the second season of Deadwood. It’s hard to recall if this is my fourth or fifth time through the show, but it doesn’t matter. It’s a wonderful program. It seems Ian McShane followed it up with an NBC bit called Kings. It’s supposed to mirror the story of King David in a modern setting. It was cancelled after the first season for failing to find an audience. Reviews indicate that this is a fucking shame. He also did a show called Lovejoy back in the day for the BBC about a less than scrupulous antique dealer. If I remember correctly, it ran from 1986 until 1994 and it will be a treat to watch.

I’m reading David McCullough’s biography of Harry Truman. I’ve barely started it and am only at the part where his ancestors were slogging their way out west through Missouri in 1854. Missouri is probably my least favorite state in these united, and I couldn’t give a flying fuck about what happens in it. This is supposed to be a critically acclaimed book, so I expect that it gets interesting at some point. I also have a ton of comics to get through, both newly acquired and archived.

More on this later. I want a beer and I intend to get one.

Pidgeotto: (Yesterday was a) Whirlwind GO

Posted: November 8, 2011 in Uncategorized
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Good morning, friends, and let me just say that I am writing a blog post. How do I know this? You are reading it (get out of my head! you may be observed to shout).

Which is entirely unnecessary, I should add. My getting out of your head, that is. You must keep reading. Was that confusing for you? I should hope so – parentheses were used I appropriately (and for good reason.)

ALL OF THIS WILL BE EXPLAINED LATER. NOW IS CLEARLY NOT CONVENIENT.

We left Michigan yesterday at 0320. I have forgotten my beard trimmer, my electric razor (for that ‘lectric shave), and the power cord for my Nook. I hope they don’t band together into some sort of robut bent on, I don’t know, shaving books. Because that would be largely a waste of effort on its part and I hate to see effort expended inefficiently. I shall send for my things. In the meantime, pages will need to be trimmed the old fashioned way – purging through fire.

The early departure was Dad’s idea. He is also known for such great ideas as wanting my first name to be “Ivan” (sans quotation marks), and for reading the Wall Street Journal. The plan was that he would drive to Indiana while I slept and then we would trade responsibilities. Naturally, his first move was to insist that no music or radiocast (indeed, any sound at all) be suffered a place in this automobile during the early morning shift. This is fine (in fact, it is happening right now, too) although it does make falling asleep more of a deliberate action instead of one which occurs passively. I made it as far as exit 105 on I-69 (is that where the Lion’s Den Adult Superstore is located? Perhaps the billboard? I do not know) before I began drifting in and out.

6 (six) hours later we were nearing the stunning academic stronghold of Bloomington, Indiana. This city is remarkable for housing both the University of Indiana and a certain Mister and Missus William George Sprague.

Following a well-delivered but poorly received set of directions we found ourselves at some sort of breakfasting establishment known to the locals as THE BAKEHOUSE. This is likely derivative of the full name, which was The (something something) Bakehouse. I’m uncomfortable about the comma in the last sentence. It was lovely to catch up with George, albeit in truncated fashion, and the buzzcuts and gravy were fantastic. We then fled the city, never looking back. Although we could have; the car is not so full that we can not make use of all windows.

Onward, then, to Kansas City and this Over-land Park, a city so fine that I have family living there. Notably, Uncle Mike and his children. They are my cousins, appropriately. Dad is not related to them, but all appear to get along amicably despite this. Perrys are bonded in blood, after all. It is unavoidable that Dad would have gotten some on him after all this time.

It feels like those last two sentences were trying too hard. And the thing is, they were only there to set up a fart joke which I have decided to disinclude.

This portion of the drive was largely dominated by the phat stack of compact discs I burned before we left. We have two things to listen to: a series of lectures detailing the history of Russia from Peter the Great to Gorbachev and the accumulated podcasts of Judge John Hodgman – each of these total 18 hours of listening pleasure. John Hodgman of course requires no explanation. He covered the cases of whether chili should be considered soup or not (it should not, it is, in fact, stew. such is the ruling of Judge Hodgman), whether a machine gun is a robot (or a robut), which of the friends should have the toy giraffe and what his name must be, and several others. I had heard all of these before and had not taken this into consideration when compiling these discs.

A summary of the Russian history:

Russia was culturally bankrupt until Peter the Great began introducing the Western methods and efficiencies he observed by studying foreigners while his family plotted against each other to rule to country. These introductions had the dual-effect of improving the quality of domestic institutions, legally binding the serfs to the lands they worked, and making all Russians permanently suspicious of Western ideas and each other, for that matter. What followed was an attempt by each successive leader to undo the accomplishments of their predecessor. Each time they did it a little worse, ultimately resulting in progress. And Red Marxism, from the looks of it. Won’t the tsar be surprised!

Dad decided that the perfect time to start fucking around with the gps was as we were entering Overland Park at rush hour, while it was raining, at night, and while I was driving. My tone betrayed how I felt about these conditions. I was told to calm myself lest I find myself confined to a Muscovite prison, where the beards grow long and the mind becomes weary of itself. Overland Park is an outgrowth of Kansas City. Indeed, it is so large a place, so burgeoning a metropolis that one state along cannot hold it. Although after the Chiefs/Dolphins game last Sunday each may be trying to disavow ownership.

Uncle Mike took us all out for some Kansassan BBBQ. I got something called “burnt ends” of brisket and pork, lamb ribs, and the baked beans what have the meats innum. Others had different food. I’m not going to tell you what time we were there or what the place was called. That’s what Foursquare is for and I refuse to be redundant.

After dropping Edgar (Dad) off back at Mike’s house (l’il guy was tuckered out from all ze driving (and from the knowledge that we would be leaving at 5ish the following morning)) we scooted over to the local horsepistol to see my cousin’s new baby. He’s not one of those old babies (see Andy Rooney’s interview with Ali G). Young Tyson was born with some health complications, but is eating better now and has switched to filtered cigarettes. That last bit is a joke. Mostly he farts and poops. He is a Perry (there it is! Bazinga).

Then we went back to the house and everyone went to sleep except for Madison who stayed up doing homework so that she would have everything done before going back to school today in Manhattan which was confusing at first and Markus may have stayed up being metal for hours it’s hard to say but probably not since apparently he wakes up at 5:30 each morning but then again that’s pretty metal and now we’re driving toward Oklahoma City so that we can drive really fast across Oklahoma and hopefully there hasn’t been any damage to the roads on account of the earthquakes last week because we want to make it to Albuquerque by the end of the way and hopefully we can get away from this weather system because I don’t want to drive in the rain all day.

The current temperature is 44 degrees American, the elevation was just 1337, and Dad is having difficulty adjusting the windshield wipers to avoid that atrocious dragging squeak.

And I just remembered that when we stopped to get gas yesterday there was a guy in a jeep who had run out of gas in the gas station parking lot and needed our help pushing it up the hill to the pump. He asked us for help and immediately offered us 10 dollars. I saw this as a sad reflection at least on Indiana that this guy thought that he had to pay people to be helpful. Chances are, in the past he has had to pay for precisely that. Or, he would have insisted that he be paid for such. Hopefully our pro bono carpushery has him better informed on the cooperative nature of the human spirit. A guy let me use his Kroger card at the pump the other day and I didn’t jack his 40 cent/g discount. A tsarist Russian would be amazed.

Manifest Destiny

Posted: November 7, 2011 in Uncategorized
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I’m moving to Phoenix today. We’re going to try and make it as far as Kansas City before the day is over. “We” is Dad and me. He’s driving first, so I’m going to finish writing this and then go to sleep.

1884 Convention Day 2

Posted: August 4, 2011 in 1884 Republican National Convention, Politics, Theodore Roosevelt
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The convention was called to order at 18 minutes past 11 the following morning. The session began with another prayer invoking the divine blessing upon the noble work they hoped to perform followed by the chair asking for any preliminary presentations.

Right out of the gate was the gentleman from Maryland with another memorial to be read from another women’s temperance league. It was at the point that our narrator decided that he was going to step out for a few hours since the business of the day was going to be comprised exclusively of reports from the committees formed the previous afternoon.

The only report of any significance was the one that provided an initial decision as to which of the contested delegates were authorized to participate in the nomination process. If I recall correctly, this was made an issue because there was a large camp of Independent delegates, with whom Roosevelt was affiliated, who wished to infiltrate the convention so as to block the nomination of Blaine. Roosevelt had something of a personal vendetta against Blaine – Roosevelt believed him the creature of notorious politico Roscoe Conkling; Conkling had blocked the election of Theodore Sr. in the race for New York City port collector. Sr. then revealed that he had bowel cancer and promptly died. Roosevelt forever linked civil service corruption with his father’s death, naturally.

It is entirely possible that I am confusing this infiltration with the New York Republican Convention in Utica earlier that year. Regardless, down with Blaine.

I have realized at this point that the only remaining pieces of worthwhile information to be gleaned from this text (440 pages, much of it reports and voting results) are going to be the nominating speeches. There’s probably a reason why none of my books spend more than 5 pages on this convention. It is still a logical beginning for the comic, however, as it sets the state for TR’s escape to the Badlands. As such, I will spare you a line-by-line summary of the remainder. I thought the Day 1 post was fun, though.

Note: I have actually started outlining the first issue. I was digging through all of my written accounts of this convention for a description of the big political move that T had made right before getting selected as a delegate. I still can’t remember, although he did compile more than a million words of reports and testimony as a result of all the hearings that he held. I’ll find it eventually, but the exciting thing in this paragraph is that I just remembered that I have photocopies of a chapter about the convention from a book about Chet Arthur that I had forgotten about. It will no doubt prove useful.

The story of the convention will be interrupted at key moments to offer flashbacks about his political efforts and his wife who had just died 4 months earlier. We will have a better appreciation of his torment at that point. I’m hoping to have the rough outline finished tonight so that I can start applying dialogue and arranging panels.

Anyone who wants to play editor with me is more than welcome to get involved.

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